Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Whimsical, Continuing Adventures Of Murder Cat Fred

Murder Cat Fred likes to play in the cemetery. Fred is enamored by the place for he spends many an hour frolicking amongst the graves. I think Fred has an unhealthy fascination with death. He didn't come by his name by stopping to smell the roses.. unless of course they were on top of a grave. There are many animals who live in the cemetery. Rats, Moles, Silver Foxes, Raccoons, Armadillos and Possums.

Murder Cat Fred met his first Possum last night. Fred was very curious about the weird cat with the nekkid tail. He swatted the tail several times as it swayed back and forth like a conductors baton, seemingly keeping time to the psychotic beat in Fred's brain.

I'm not sure what to name the Possum. I have no idea if the possum is a boy or a girl.. I am not about to check. It would be too weird.

There is another new contender for my attention hanging around. Actually he doesn't give a rats rear for my attention, he just wants food. I think he specifically wants to eat my soul. A friend suggested I name him "Rocky" because he is a huge mass of muscle and attitude. I will not name him that because he isn't as socially adept as Sylvester Stallone portrayed Rocky. I have decided to name him "Anti-Christ Cat" My neighbor said if she didn't know he was a cat, she would be scared to death of him. I do not share her sentiment, I know he's a cat and he still scares the crap out of me. This picture does not accurately portray his freakish girth. He is quite beautiful but supposedly, the anti-christ will be also. I'm waiting to see if they are one in the same. Murder Cat Fred will not have a chance against him.

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I'm 50 year old man who prays he won't take anyone out with him when he finally loses it. Copyright 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012