Monday, September 14, 2009

When Your Dad Starts to Spoil

I think my 83 year old dad is starting to spoil. I can smell him from 5 foot away. I do all the cooking and cleaning for him, well..I cook. I gotta admit I stink at cleaning, but I've never had to clean HIM up.. yet. I'm sure that day is coming but I'm pretty convinced that he would rather drop dead than have me bathe him.. No offense to him but I think I might prefer that too. It's a guy thing. Anywhoo... I'm smellin some stale tail goin on. Now the strange part. I've never known my dad to take a shower or bath during my lifetime...ever. He has always taken spit baths at the bathroom sink. I have never asked him why he does that and I have a sneaking suspicion that if I tried to put him in the tub now it would be akin to doing the same to a wild alley cat. Anyway, point is.. he smells.

I asked him if he had any clean clothes and he replied "Yup, I was gonna change-em a couple weeks ago but haven't had time". Yeah.. ha ha dad. Short of getting him to go out in the back yard and ambushing him with a bucket of bleach and a water hose, I'm not sure what to do. I suppose I could stick a can of Fabreeze in his pants, pull the trigger and run but he might think he's done pooped himself. I'd also rather not have to sleep with one eye open for the next few years. I say years because trust me, he wouldn't forget it. Memory like an Elephant, that one.

He did take a shower once. He was in the hospital after a stoke and the nurse was in the shower with him to help. She was dressed in some sort of getup that I'm sure was
to keep her dry but looked more like they had called Haz-mat in to control the toxic run-off.

Oh well. Its a bridge we will cross when we come to it, trouble is, after I cross that bridge I may have to keep running.


Paula said...

Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta You'll figure it out when he gets "ripe"

Bill said...

Yup! I imagine I will. Its gonna be interesting. Thanks for droppin by the blog maam!

Mary said...

Oh dear! Maybe it's just that "old folks smell" and not, well anything worse.

Bill said...

Heh Mary, Thats worries me too. By the way, Love your new picture on here. You are so very cute!

Screwed Up Texan said...

I've never laughed so hard in my husband's grandfather is the same way. Takes spit baths at the bathroom sink and wears the same clothes for weeks.

AZ Mommy said...

I say pay the neighbor kid to come wash him.

Bill said...

Hah!.. The neighbor kids might get a kick out of it. too funny!


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