Monday, January 11, 2010

The Cat Reformatted my Hard Drive

I got a new cell phone the other day. My old cell phone is still in great shape but the print on the screen was getting fuzzier and arms weren't long enough to get a good focus on it. The cell phone came with software to sync it with my computer. I could manage my address book, daily task and the appointments with my many different psychiatrist (I kid... really)

Well.. the software decided it was going to be ornery. It would not recognize my cell phone when attached.. heck, it wouldn't even give the phone a polite nod as it walked by. Well.. With my vast knowledge of computers (which consist of knowing that you shut it down with the start button)I tried to fix its rudeness. I downloaded this, that and the other and finally hit that restart button and then waited for it to come back up. I waited and waited.. and waited but it apparently was mad at me and refused to get out of bed. It told me there was a corrupted file and I wondered how corrupt it could be. Was it going to slip some pantyhose on its head and rob a 7-11?

After a few hours of frantically trying to bring the puter back to life, I found a hidden system that would restore my settings.

It had two options. One was called a "destructive restore" that destroyed all your files, melted your DVD player and made fun of your weight, the other was a simple light rinse that refreshed your files like a spring rain on your garden.

It started out on the destructive part and you had to choose the lighter part, which is what I wanted.
I brought up the program and then had to leave it to go attend to a waiting task. When I came back, the cat had jumped up on my desk (which he had never, ever done before)and was laying across my keyboard.. with his big-ol foot resting right on the ENTER key. My files were melting right before my eyes and I began to wonder if I looked fat in the jeans I was wearing.

I haven't seen the cat in the last two days but I know he's around. The cat food keeps disappearing. I'm pretty sure he only comes out after I go to bed. I'm guessing he has a few lives left. I know I scared a couple out of him with the scream I let out.

Thanks to a few friends in the IT biz, I finally got the computer back up.

I took that cell phone software and buried it in the back yard in a lead box with a few cloves of garlic and a Bible.

I will have a simple phone.. just to talk on.


Christy Jordan said...

you are the most entertaining man on earth, I swear!

love it, love it, love it, sending it to my mama!

Bill said...

Thank you Christy Lou! I would have acknowledged you sooner but I've been trying to fix this computer. I ended up having TWO Windows XP accounts because of the botched reformatting. I'd go to log off and it told me I was switching off the other users. Scared the crud outta me. Thought I'd been hacked!


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