Friday, July 10, 2009

Why I Hate Shopping.

I just got back from Sam's Warehouse. If you don't have a Sam's, maybe you have a Costco or other bulk shopping stores in your area. I HATE going to Sam's...Why?.. because..I can't afford to get 20 cans of chunk white tuna or a 3 gallon Bucket-O-Salsa.
The things I could do with 5 boxes of 30 count odor reducing trash bags. Heck, I'd never have to buy underwear again. Those cellulose drawers might get a bit uncomfortable during hot summer months but what's a little nuclear heat rash compared to a man being able to float an air-biscuit whenever and wherever he wants? Dragged to a Symphony? Not a problem.. just wait till the percussion section gets going.

Man leans over to Wife: "Did you catch my rift at the end?" *giggles..

The good thing is, you'll probably never have to go with her again.

I'm a typical man, Go in, get what I need and get the heck out. I couldn't imagine having to go with a spouse. Bulk shopping is really not fair to women or marriages.

Spouse: "Honey! Look! They have 2000 plastic Army men for $5.29! Let's get it!"

Hubby: "Ummm.. why?"

Spouse: "So we could put them in the flower beds and scare the Aphids away from the Hydrangeas!"


I'm sure I could find a use for a 1500 count bottle of Flintstone vitamins.. I could give them away to people, maybe at a dinner party..

Male Guest (leans over to wife and whispers) "My mashed potatoes are looking at me.."


Sigh...there's so much I want when I enter those doors. That mouth watering case of Slim Jims, an 800 count box of Double Bubble.. but alas, they're not to be mine. Some day I'll have the money to get those little green Army men.. I'll pretend they are snipers and aim them for the neighborhood stray cats.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love Cosco, never been to a Sam's before but I'm sure they are all the same. I hate going with my husband cause he just doesn't understand why I want these huge cases of things, he just keeps saying "Sweetie, really?" and steers me away. He only leaves me alone by the books, cuz their single copies. You guys just don't get it. lol
Anonymously,
JoAnn Walsh

Bill said...

ROFL! Anonymously JoAnn. Love it. Thanks ya kindly maam.

Anonymous said...

I love going to Sam's!! Hubby only lets me go alone once a year..lol...pssssssst...it's me...Paula...lol

~Brittainy said...

Its an hour to the nearest one around here, but I sure did go in College, that 80 pack of nutrigrain bars and bulk Ramen Noodles, And Bulk Instant Mac and cheese served me well on the days I was too busy between work and class to go the the Cafeteria.

One of the things that really gets me is the 24 pack of Ginormous Muffins. Sure they are the best muffins ever, They look so fresh I am afraid to buy them in fear that we won't get through half before the expiration date.

Mary at My New 30 said...

Oh my Bill Gent! You have a blog!! I've seen you at Christy's place, of course. Which is why I speak as if I know you. I'll definitely be visiting. I cannot help but think that this is gonna be a ride!! :)

We have a Sam's but I never go there. It's way over on the other side of the coast, and besides I have no place to put that amount of stuff anyways! My garage is full of junk that apparently I cannot bear to part with. Or wait. Maybe I'm just lazy.

Welcome to the blog world!

Bill said...

Howdy doo Mary! Thank ya for stoppin by. I'm a pack rat too. I got it from my Dad who hasn't thrown anything away since 1947.

Mary at My New 30 said...

Hey Bill, I know what you mean. My dad passed away in '94 and mom in '97. Not only do I have my stuff to contend with, but I have a goodly bit of their stuff still hanging around too.

Say, would you consider turning on the email for follow up comments for your blog so I can know when you reply? Now you're gonna ask me how aren't ya LOL... well, it's been awhile, but I "think" it's in the Layout Tab, click Edit on the Blog Posts box and check the box that says Show Email Post Links. But, I could be wrong. :)

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